Monday, December 5, 2016

Musical Driving

Musical Driving:
As an automobile driver, I’m pleased when, at the end of a car ride, my smart dashboard tells me that I achieved an eco-friendly MPG. As a musician, I’m more pleased when I arrive at the destination and am able to turn off the car immediately after an authentic cadence. (+10 points)

Additional points:
+5 points for a plagal cadence (but deduct 10 points for arriving at a deceptive cadence).
+25 points for arriving at precisely the end of the piece.
+20 points for a turn-signal-blinker perfectly synchronized with the song’s tempo.
+50 points for beginning a drive just as a piece begins, and arriving at the destination just as the piece finishes. (I’ve done this; it feels good. Like a true achievement.)

A few more observations:
  1. If I arrive home mid-piece, it feels impolite to shut the radio off (deduct 20 points for such a violation). In this case it is advisable to turn off the engine, but keep the radio on until a more respectful time.
  2. If I arrive between movements, I consider it permissible to quickly shut off the car and exit the vehicle before the next mvt. begins.
  3. While we’re on the musical-driving subject, I’ve found that in the case that you began your ride mid-song, and you are waiting for the host to name the title/composer, you may feel compelled to sit until the song’s conclusion in the hopes of hearing that information. In these cases, I’ve found that such efforts are almost always futile. In fact, the more you want to hear who wrote the thing, the less likely the host is to divulge the information at the conclusion of the piece.
  4. A word on safety: If you are dashboard-drumming, make sure you don't use the gas/brake pedals as bass drum/hi-hat pedals. Yes, it may complete the beat, but it very well may also cause some fender-benders.

Happy musical-driving!

(Have more ideas for points/deductions in musical driving? Comment below.)
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